Cause I am a Superwoman / Yes I am, yes she is / Still when I’m a mess, I still put on a vest / With an S on my chest / Oh yes, I’m a Superwoman ~ Alicia Keys
I think women are naturally wired to be people pleasers. Forgive me for generalizing, but I think it’s our nurturing nature and desire for peace that makes it hard for us to simply say “no” even when we want to. It doesn’t help that society is putting pressure on us to be a “superwoman.” I reject this thinking and the pressure that ensues as a result of this mentality.
I really struggled with saying “no” to people’s many demands. There were many times when I had so much on my plate and couldn’t take on another thing, but I took it on anyway because the feeling of letting others down weighed heavily on me. Everybody wants to feel needed, right? If by some miracle, I did say “no” then I felt the need to offer a lengthy explanation of why I couldn’t do something.
Thankfully, I’ve been healed of the “people pleasing syndrome” and can say “no” with a clear conscience. If I don’t feel like going to an event or somebody asks me to do something for them and I don’t have time – I simply say “no.” I let go of the guilt. I let go of the explanations. In this case, less is more. A simple “no” is sufficient. Are people going to be around when I drive myself crazy meeting their every need? No. I made a decision to say “yes” only when I genuinely want to do something and say “no” if I don’t. It’s a simple concept, but it set me free from sacrificing my comfort and happiness for the sake of pleasing others.
Life is about balance. It’s about finding that helpful medium between helping others and not running yourself into the ground because at the end of the day nobody can take care of yourself like YOU! Besides, how helpful can you be if you’re exhausted and not operating at your full potential?
Be good to yourself and know when saying “yes” is appropriate and know when saying “no” is appropriate and feeling guilt free about it.