I’m looking forward to seeing how my life unfolds in this next decade.
I’ve done amazing things in my twenties: climbed a waterfall in Jamaica, served on a national board of directors of a wonderful organization, charted a new life in a new city, discovered news passions, became a published writer etc.
I’ve also experienced some not so great things, but I don’t want to kill this vibe so I won’t focus on that. I will say that I’m thankful for everything that has happened because it taught me something about myself and about life in general. As I head into this new chapter of my life, I’m more self-aware and comfortable in my skin than I’ve ever been. I hear it only gets better!
I’ve compiled a list of things that I’ve learned over the years. It’s certainly not in chronological order nor is it an exhaustive list. I hope you enjoy and can relate to a few of my GOLDEN rules:
1. There’s hard work and then there’s heart work. Take inventory of your heart and your motives to make sure you’re on the right track. Both are needed to truly be successful and maintain that success.
2. Being happy for others doesn’t take away from your blessings.
3. It’s not important to always be right: peace is better than pride.
4. Find your voice and speak up. Advocating for yourself = POWERFUL
5. You teach others how to treat you based on what you allow and/or won’t allow them to say or do to you.
6. Forgive. It’s not for the other person—it’s for you.
7. Don’t date ‘potential.” That sets you up for disappointment every time.
9. If you did settle and have dated “potential,” then forgive yourself and move on from that situation because you know what you DON’T want.
10. Love is an action verb.
11. You don’t need to respond to everything. Choose wisely.
12. Keep God first in everything you do.
13. Life is about choices. Think about the choices you make and take responsibility for them.
14. Do your best, pray, and God will do the rest.
15. It’s just nice to be nice. Be a blessing to one person every day.
16. If you’re not pursuing your purpose then you’re not truly living.
17. If somebody doesn’t want to be in your life then let him/her GO.
18. Be honest with your friends but please say it in love. It’s not always what you say, but it’s how you say it that truly makes a difference.
19. Don’t look crazy in the eye. Stole that from my friend JM. It’s so true!
20. Find your personal style and embrace it. Express yourself!
21. Take time to reflect on the obstacles that you’ve overcome in life. It keeps you humble.
22. Pay it forward. Somebody was there to help you so make sure you’re doing your part in helping others advance.
23. Be on your grown man or grown woman and just own up to it (whatever “it” is). You said it, apologize for it, talk about it and move on with life.
24. Sometimes singing and dancing in front of the mirror is very necessary.
25. Respect your body—don’t just give it away to anybody. Sex is too deep for all that!
26. If somebody tells you that they don’t have time for you, then remove yourself from that situation A.S.A.P. That’s an excuse because people make time for those things that are important to them.
27. Go to therapy. Make it a part of your annual check ups. It’s good to check in on your mental health.
28. Be fearless. The worst that can happen is nothing.
29. When a women’s fed up / it ain’t nothing you can do about it—thanks Kells! LOL. The real #29 is that there are more types of love than romantic love. That’s just one type of love, but there is also familial love as well as friendships. Don’t concentrate solely on building romantic relationships that you forgot about other relationships. Invest in ALL your relationships.
30. Love yourself and enjoy the life you’ve been given. I wished for so long that I had another person’s life. But the truth is that the grass is not always greener and other people have problems too. We all do! You only get one life so make the most of it—even during the difficult times.
What are some of your golden rules?